This is a sparkling new idea for a chain of non-pretentious Utah restaurants. The name of these restaurants: The Steak Center ("Where There's Never a Dry, Boring Meat-ing!"). Each Steak Center will have one enormous dining area with basketball hoops at either end, and folding metal chairs and long tables covered in plastic tablecloths.
The main menu items will be the Porterhouse Rockwell Steak, the Primary Rib and the Poor Wayfaring Pan of Beef, garnished with Parsley P. Pratt, but we'll also have, when it's in season, Eliza R. Snow crab, and a whole line of "And It Came to Pasta", including Kraft Moroni &Cheese.
Additionally, we'll have breakfast items, including Pearl of Puffed Rice and Frosted Minivans, as well as Adam-ondi-Omelettes, and "In Our Lovely Desserts", including Fast Sundaes, Gadianton Cobbler and the sinful Laman Meringue Pie. The waiters will be 12 and 13 year-old boys wearing white shirts and their fathers' ties, and at the end of the night, the customers will be asked to help fold up the chairs and tables and vacuum the floor.
Franchises are selling fast...