March 30, 2009

March: It’s Almost Over

I’m proud to announce that I will not be a hobo next school year. Today I checked a huge thing off my list and got an apartment. It’s no worse looking than Heritage (where I live now) and it’s cheaper, plus I get my own room…and my work desk won’t be in the living room. I’m very excited.

Yesterday, a few of the kids from my Hebrew class and I went to sing at the hospital. The original plan was to sing some Hebrew songs but my teacher has been very sick lately (she says she’s either pregnant or has mono), so the Hebrew tunes would have been a little weak. We did “Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing” a couple times but mostly stuck with hymns. One of the ladies was so excited that she said she’d blog about us. Another was also very happy, but for a different reason. Her son, who had been in the MTC, had something rupture in his lung very suddenly. He was set to leave for Albania in a week but will now have to wait for three (still a very quick recovery). While she was glad that he was able to get it taken care of while he was still in the states, her son was understandably disappointed. After our first song, we sang “I’ll Go Where You Want Me to Go” and he liked that.
It was lots of fun. While we hadn’t planned in advance what songs we were going to sing, they all seemed to sound really good. I guess it’s like our Hebrew teacher says. She says that BYU is the only school where people can sing a song for the first time, add their own harmony and make it sound good.

As of right this minute, I’m enjoying a free Hulu movie. They are always the weirdest movies and right now I’m watching “Reefer Madness,” the very old story of drug dealers and marijuana concerns. While the concern is merited and understandable, the movie is hilarious. It makes references about teens across the country who have taken up smoking pot and then lashed out, killing their friends and family in gruesome ways. If people who smoked pot had that much energy it would really be something…almost as much something as if they could all really play the piano as well as the people in the film.



All while I was watching it, I could only imagine what a perfect MST3K movie it would be, so afterwards I searched for one. It turns out that Mike, from later episodes, does the commentary for the DVD. That’s excellent.

March 24, 2009

Happiness is...

I guess my list of things I dislike a couple posts ago made one viewer unhappy…not because he is any of the things of the list, but he was feeling for them. *coughveganscough*
That is why I will now list things that make me happy…in particular order, and these things do not make me the most happy, but they are up there.

1. Sunny, warm days. Not 90 degrees, can barely breathe hot, but 70 is nice.

2. Puppies. They always love you and have simple lives (and simple needs).

3. Honey. It makes everything in life taste ten times better. The Children of Israel are with me on this too.

4. Arrested Development. Never has such perfection in a sitcom been matched.

5. Reading. As much as I disliked it when I was younger, now, if I could, I would spend most of my time reading.

And as a special bonus:

6. Thunder, lightning and rainstorms. They make #2 and #5 even cozier.

March 21, 2009

Trying To Soak Up Some Sun

The weather has been beautiful all week. Next week is supposed to be sunny on some days and rainy on others but as long as the snow is gone for good, I’m happy. The past couple days I’ve been sitting on one of the balconies to do my homework in shorts and a leotard in the hopes that perhaps someday I’ll look like I’ve been outside sometime in my life. So far, it looks like my skin has gotten more pale, and what I thought was a bit of a sunburn on my arm yesterday was just some heat redness.

Yesterday night my friend and I completed a video that we have wanted to make for a few weeks. We were worried about the outcome (I’ve never tried that much stop animation and he’s never tried any sort of animation or video editing at all) but it turned out fabulous. It’s called “Age of Peeps”. I just thought of it one day while listening to the soundtrack for Age of Empires and now it’s a reality. It’s short, but it took three hours to make. Now, after this video, and his cameo in an episode of Husband Hunters, Matt wants to make videos all of the time. I might have to show him how to use some basic programs like Digital Image Suite and Windows Movie Maker so he can get some of that energy out.

Anyway, to see the video CLICK HERE.
When I get home it will find it's place on YouTube with my other videos.

March 17, 2009

A Note About Anger

Today someone asked me what kinds of things make me mad. I don’t generally get really mad about things. I get mad when I oversleep, am busy or just cranky, but seeing as pretty much everyone does, I chose the things that make me truly, and uniquely angry. I was somewhat surprised by my answers.

1) Taxes
2) Abortion
3) Vegans
4) Rap singers
5) Ditzy Girls

Yeah. I did just put ½ of the females attending BYU on my list of things that make me truly angry.

On another note, my roommate and some friends made a new episode of my ever favorite video blog, Husband Hunters. This one was a full scale production. Be sure to leave a comment or subscribe to them if you like what you see.

March 12, 2009

A Penny For My Thoughts?

You knew this one was coming when you logged onto FaceBook this afternoon...

When FaceBook changed to “New” FaceBook last summer or so, I didn’t like the change. While there are still aspects that I don’t like, for the most part, it grew on me. So why won’t this new layout do the same thing? Let me tell you why…

1) There is STILL no feature for the blocking of individuals on FaceBook chat. Every other messaging device has this. What is so tricky that FaceBook chat can’t have it?

2) I would like to have all of my events show up on my homepage every time. Do I care about highlights? No. But if I’ve gone through the effort of adding events, I’d like to see them. You may read this and say, “But Hillary, the events are still on your homepage.” So for your reference I have 8 events right now…and can only see one at first glance.

3) The “live feed” is no more live than it was before. I still have to refresh the page to see new updates.

4) “Write something.” Write what? Is this my status? Is this to post on my wall? WTF?

5) Small details make it look more immature. Rounded corners, shadowed edges. I’m not 14. I want the facts, not a bunch of glitter. If I want my photo to have rounded corners, I’ll do it myself.

6) Using all caps for certain things like “TAGGED” is a big no-no in the internet world…especially when the other fonts look normal. I feel like I’m being yelled at every time I see it.

7) How am I supposed to delete things off of my wall, or my “live feed,” or whatever it is now, if whenever I move over to the X it disappears?

8) Not diggin’ the little arrow to tell me who wrote what on whoever’s wall. Lucky for me, and many others who use FaceBook, I’m literate. In fact, I’m especially good at reading the small words that the arrow replaced.

These are just some of my problems. I’m sure some of them will get worked out over the next few days (come on guys!) but I’m also likely to find more.

So for now, maybe you can expect me on FaceBook less often. :-\

March 11, 2009

You May Say It Best If You Say Nothing At All

Have I mentioned how awkward BYU life is? I think it’s the mix of awkward people, moving through an awkward stage, in an already awkward setting that makes it that way. Thankfully, Taco Bell feels my pain…



I have one, and my friend, Fritzler, told me that he picked up a few from the Cougareat (BYU’s cafeteria) with which to arm ourselves for ward prayer.

My other friend, Michael, said that a few weeks ago (to further prove that the best things happen when I’m not around) the Relief Society ladies were told that it is inappropriate to scratch the boys’ backs in church. I would sure be embarrassed if I was the ONE girl that scratched a guy’s back…actually, no I wouldn’t. This really sounds like a conversation that should happen in Elders Quorum, maybe not in every ward, but in mine for sure. After all, haven’t these boys ever seen this:



If they have ever sat through a chastity lesson (that wasn’t the BYU Relief Society one about FaceBook and Indexing), they will have seen this chart in even greater detail. These are the people that think I’m a heathen for suggesting that the animated Book of Mormon movies are priestcraft and yet they continue on scratching each other’s backs, embracing one another in disturbing ways and helping each other remove gum from their shoes in a fashion that makes those sitting behind them increasingly uncomfortable.

This is getting out of hand. So out of hand that the only thing that could draw my attention away as being more awkward was the following conversation from my ballet class:

Girl 1: Did you color your hair?
Girl 2: Yeah. It’s for Dance Sport.
Girl 1: It’s looks great!
Girl 2: Oh, thanks! I think it’s about time for a wash. Whenever you see me with one of these headbands it means that I’m going on day 5.


I was shocked. I probably wash my hair too much, but regularly going 5 days without a wash…when you’re doing several dance classes a day? This is truly TMI at its finest.

Oh, it’s not? Well maybe this second gem from ballet class is:

Sometimes we do partner stretching where one person stands up and the other person pushes the first person’s leg up, kind of like a splits or a barre stretch (it sounds weird but it’s fairly normal looking). I was getting ready to help my partner stretch when she just said, out of nowhere, “Sorry, I smell really bad today.” What was I supposed to say? “Oh, it’s no problem, I reek too.” I didn’t say anything. While she was kind of right, I probably wouldn’t have noticed or thought about it if she hadn’t of said anything, just like the headband.

However, not saying anything is not an option when it comes to back scratching. Remember, if someone’s back scratching makes you uncomfortable, tell a trusted adult…or make an announcement at ward prayer.


Want more awkward BYU-isms?
-The Art of Conversation
-Porter Rockwell Lacks Urinal Etiquette in JRCB
-Oh, The Strange Things You See

March 9, 2009

When Life Gives You Apples

Midterms seem to be getting everyone down at the moment. With exams in both American Heritage and Hebrew this week and a test in Book of Mormon next week, I know that I'll be pretty busy. I seem to be doing fine (though the fact that, when under stress, my clothes cannot find the dirty clothes hamper, is taking a toll on my room) but my roommate seems to have acquired a drinking problem. In one day she consumed four apple-beers (Utah’s state beverage). While I can drink two Jones sodas in a day, I struggle to finish the second on account of the sugar overload. However, it appears that she has no such problem...making this:



A normal sight when I return from my afternoon classes.

Should I also mention that there are one and a half Costco cheesecakes in my fridge right now? They expired today, but I’m sure that if we wanted to, we could milk and extra day out of them…

March 4, 2009

Getting There is Half the Fun

I never went the EFY when I was in high school but I remember getting to BYU and there was a variety of girls so excited for it to be like EFY all of the time. These are the girls who abuse the privilege of being girls. Girls that feel offended if they are left alone during a slow song, or are upset when they can’t have some sort of meaningless conversation about toothbrushes and hobbies with any guy they happen to sit next to. As the first week worked into a month, these girls began to see that that is not the way things work. Instead, fate smiled on the girls who can get food by themselves, walk to the Richardson Building or catch the bus without help and enjoy a world in which, unlike high school, they don’t have to be bothered by the immaturity and obnoxiousness of boys 24/7. This latter group had soon been lulled into a false sense of self-security. All of a sudden the announcement is made in church that the boys will escort the girls to their enrichment meeting in the building right next door. The first group cheered but the second did not. As a result, the second group was criminalized for dodging those who were obligated to transport them…or with them.

We were all sure it was over, until once again, we were told that we would have to be escorted. Thankfully, they gave us a time frame this time, so I’ll know how early I need to head over. It’s crazy. I was sure that after so many complaints it wouldn’t happen again, but at what I suspect to be the suggestion of one girl, we are all forced to undergo the same torture.

It’s not even that it’s really torture. It’s just obnoxious. There is a reason why I’m not Muslim (okay several) and this is one of them. I can walk by myself. The same goes for times when I’m working out until after sunset. Just because the sun is down, doesn’t mean I’m going to get lost. Oh, it’s to keep me safe? No, don’t think so. It sounds like the boys being in close proximity to the boys IS the problem. The idea that I’d trust random boys in my ward any more than a complete stranger is lunacy. In fact, knowing that some of those guys know where I live is what scares me more than anything.

Question: Why do I consider these males in my ward “boys” when they are all between the ages of 17-28 (yeah it goes that high…)?

Answer: They live in the dorms. I’m pretty sure guys don’t graduate from boy status until they start paying for utilities. Therefore, they should NOT consider themselves in the market for a wife.

Basically, I enjoy walking alone and believe that I have earned the right to do so at my own risk.

March 2, 2009

Are you part of the Red Army?

Campus is a-buzz with the BYUSA elections. In Brigham Square, the courtyard in front of the JFSB and beyond, the candidates have set up tables to promote themselves and give out very free scraps of cloth in different colors according to their campaign’s colors. While walking to classes in the JSB, Tyler grabbed a couple of red cloth streamers from an unmanned booth and since nothing is more exciting than a piece of fabric, we anxiously tied them to our wrists. Second later, we passed someone from another campaign who was about to offer us something before seeing our red bracelets. “Oh…you’re reds.” She sounded so dejected. It wasn’t until after Tyler’s declaration that we were part of the “Red Army” that we realized that we didn’t know who the “Red Campaign” belonged to. We looked at all of the campaign posters, and none of them used red. As far as I know, NOBODY is the red campaign.

I’m pretty sure that someone who is secretly trying to overthrow the precious democracy of BYUSA is hiding their communist plot by not having any signs or representatives, but giving away the most enticing color of fabric. Just thinking about it makes me want another. Why would anyone want a yellow or green thing to tie onto themselves when they could have red?



I feel bad for everyone in high school where school politics isn’t nearly as exciting as this.

I also point you to this blog, written by a friend of my roommate who goes to BYU.